The Lazy Girls’ Reasons for Breastfeeding

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week (August 1-7), I’m resurrecting our blog. Hurray, right? YAY!

Although my son has been weaned for over a year, I still think back fondly to those 2 1/2 years that he could be comforted by nursing. The benefits of breastfeeding have been touted in the news over and over again; do you guys really need to hear that? No. Mostly because many women? Are STILL not listening. They come up with excuses why they didn’t even try, or worse, that the medical facility that they gave birth in didn’t offer any support for it.

Those are all issues that are too big for me to deal with, but what’s easy for me is to share with you why I breastfed my son.

It’s because I. Am. Lazy.

What? Breastfeeding takes so much of your time! The baby is attached to you 24/7! How do you ever get anything done? You might say that. But if you just think about it as a 10-15 pound growth on your breast and carry on with your day, it’s not so bad.

Let me start over because that might sound gross to some (all) of you. I should just make a list. Here you go, Kat’s Reasons Why Breastfeeding is the Lazy and Easy Way to Feed Your Child:

1. You don’t have to pack anything. Seriously, NOTHING. Well, OK, you need to pack diapers so you can catch what comes out after. I never packed a nursing cover (jackets, burp cloths, or my own shirt usually sufficed), I never packed pacifiers (after the 4th month, when G would just reject them by spitting them out), bottles, formula, or anything like that. So easy!

This is what a milk coma looks like.

2. Because you don’t have to pack anything, there is nothing to forget at home or have to buy at the store at 2 in the morning. Listen, almost anyone who knows me will tell you that besides being lazy, I have a horrible memory problem. I’d forget my head if it weren’t screwed on, and I’d forget my boobs at home if they weren’t permanently attached. When G started eating solids, I’d always forget to pack snacks for him, which is why so many people saw me nursing in public. Breast milk is always fresh, always available, doesn’t run out (and require Daddy to run to the grocery store in the middle of the night) and never forgotten at home.

3. It doesn’t take as long. Yes, it takes about 4-6 weeks to “get the hang of it,” and bottle-feeding is very straightforward from the word go. But I believe that the initial time and patience to learn how to breastfeed again appeals to my lazy side. Why? Once again, if G was crying or required any kind of comfort, all I had to do was lay him in my lap. By the time he was 8 months, he would stop crying before he even latched on because he figured out what was coming. This is why I think breast milk has magic in it. It can stop almost any healthy child from crying. Seriously. TRY IT. It takes less than 3 seconds to place your child in your lap and whip out your breast (yeah, by the time G was 3 months old, I could really do it that quickly!).

I really appreciated this time aspect when G was waking up every 2 hours in the middle of the night. I wondered how I would have gotten any sleep at all if I had to prepare a bottle for him every time. (Also add to this the fact that I am also clumsy as well as lazy. I bet I’d drop an uncapped milk bottle at least once a night.) Actually, I would have probably sent my husband to do it. Because of this time aspect, in the first 3 months of G’s life, my husband only had to wake up 3-4 times to help me. Since he was still working full-time during the day, I felt he should get his sleep at night. G and I napped during the day.

4. I don’t have to do as much washing. If I had to choose 2 chores that I don’t hate, it’s laundry and washing dishes — but only those hard-working, type-A people enjoy cleaning. I am not one of those people. When G was in school, yes, I had to wash bottles, but there were definitely fewer of them than if he had bottle-fed full-time. Also, breast milk stains, whether in the bottle or on clothes, are easier to get out of clothes than formula or milk stains, or any food or dirt stains. You just throw it in the wash and let the detergent take care of it.

5. Related to this is the fact that breastfed poops don’t stink as bad and are easier to wash. As someone who did a lot of babysitting for extra money, I’ve changed my share of diapers. And phew, were they stinky! My son was the first exclusively-breastfed diaper that I had changed, and guess what? The smell ain’t so bad. AT ALL. The best description I’ve heard of is buttered popcorn. Yes, it really does smell like buttered popcorn! Also, in the unfortunate event that you get baby poop on the baby’s clothes or heaven forbid, on YOUR clothes, you know what you do, lazy girl? Just throw those clothes in the washing machine. You don’t even have to rinse it out first! It also means that there are fewer clothes ruined. (Not that they can wear them for very long; if my baby is normal, then he grew out of clothes so quickly, he wore some things barely once.)

6. It’s cheaper. Do I really need to pull out that chart that shows how much families spend on formula for the first year? I found a website that says it costs $1,000-$2,300 for the first year on formula. But that doesn’t even take into account the water (to mix with the formula as well as to wash the bottles), the bottles, and the things you need to clean the bottles. Cheaper is cheaper is cheaper is FREE (especially if you don’t need to pump). Breastfeeding is free. In tough economic times, anything you can get for free is good (well, almost anything). Sure, I ate like a hungry gorilla for the first 6 months of my son’s life, so we might have spent a bit more on food — but not $2,300 worth of food. Which brings me to my next point:

7. It’s a great weight-loss program. It’s not just about how breastfeeding contracts the uterus (which it does — it’s that thing inside your abdomen area that causes what I fondly refer to as the “mom pooch”), but I found that I ate much better when I was breastfeeding than when I wasn’t. Basically, my subconscious told me, “Whatever you’re putting in your mouth eventually goes into your child’s mouth, too.” I didn’t reject the occasional cheeseburger or anything, but I drank lots more water (felt thirsty all the time anyway and then it just became a habit) and craved veggies like crazy. Not that this will necessarily work for you. But it’s a good reason to start, right?

8. When I was working, I had the excuse to really take those 15-minute breaks. I pumped milk while working full-time until my son was 13 months old. I was the last of my working-mom group that was still pumping, too. My coworkers ragged on me about it, but I persevered. I said it was because my son was allergic to regular formula but part of it was that I enjoyed getting away from the hustle and bustle for a few minutes each day. I brought a book or magazine, or I called my mom for some idle chit-chat.

I’m grateful for the California laws that requires my employer to provide a place for me to pump as well as mandates that I take my breaks to pump. Other employers might not be so flexible, but technically they break the law if they don’t let you. And it’s becoming more common for mothers to assert their rights to these laws, so although employers might complain about it, it’s still your right as a mother to them.

9. When my son was a toddler, he let me hold him still for more than 10 seconds at a time. Mothers of toddlers would appreciate this. When they get mobile and start discovering the world outside of that little bubble of Mom ‘n’ Me, they move like the speed of light, getting into everything and putting their fingers and hands where they shouldn’t and getting so dirty they need a bath every other hour. But the highlight of my day was coming home from work with him, and he would sit in my lap and nurse for at least 10 minutes. It was our way of reconnecting, of communicating, of saying, “Hi, how are you? I missed you for the past 8-10 hours.” This was actually the last nursing session we kept and was the hardest to wean from.

After about a year of being weaned, he still stays close to Mama.

In a society where we’re so eager for our children to grow up and be independent, I wanted to let him be a baby for as long as he wanted. Because I knew the time would come too soon when he wouldn’t want to be a baby anymore, and I would have no choice about it. I’m not sure why our society believes that we should teach our children to be independent as soon as they’ve exited the womb. There is nothing wrong with keeping your children close especially in the first few days, months, or even years in their life. In fact, their instinct (which is pretty much all they’ve got at this point) is to be close to their mothers first and other caregivers second. So why do we fight it? I don’t get it, so I don’t subscribe to it. My kid is sticking next to me for as long as he wants.

10. I’m too lazy to think of a number 10. So here are another 101. Plus, my kid is trying to climb all over me …

Yay for Breastfeeding, Part 1

Nursing Gavin, around 2 months old

I started to write a piece on why we chose to breastfeed, and it ended up being about 4 pages long. That is just way too much. You would get bored. You actually might get bored now.

I should say that if you’re already sure you don’t want to put your child to breast, there’s nothing I or anyone else can say to change your mind. Even if you don’t KNOW that’s how you feel … if deep down inside, you are not confident or just uncomfortable with the idea of a child nursing at your breast … it’s probably not going to happen for you.

If you are on the fence one way or the other (and I was at one point, and that may surprise many of you), I’m going to say some things that I hope will tip you over to my side of the fence.

I can throw at you all the statistics about how it’s much healthier, how it’s more natural, etc. But you already know all that.

I have heard some moms (or soon-to-be moms) say that breastfeeding just seems so restrictive — like the mother is unable to be as free as a mom who feeds her child a bottle instead.

Well, consider this. When I returned to work at 3.5 months postpartum, I decided I would pump milk and send it to daycare in lieu of formula. (I ended up having to supplement with formula anyway because my kid loved milk, whether from the breast or the bottle.)

When we came home each evening, I spent about 15-20 minutes preparing bottles for the next day. Washing, drying, pouring and measuring milk, and making sure I returned them to the fridge.

This was for the 3-4 bottles of breast milk that my infant son consumed in 9 hours.

Consider how many more bottles of formula are consumed in a single day by a child who is solely formula-fed. 10-12 bottles, maybe? Perhaps you just dump them in the sink throughout the day and wash them all at the end of the day.

Consider being awakened by a crying baby in the middle of the night. My kid? Got placed on the boob and was quiet again 99% of the time within 30 seconds. A bottle-fed baby? Unless you have one of those mini-fridges next to the crib or your bed, it may take you at least 1 minute to pour the formula in bottles that are pre-filled with water — and that’s if you don’t spill water or formula, or drop the measuring scoop. (I’m clumsy. I’m sure I would have dropped the scoop at least once a night.)

Going out: I’ve already talked about my diaper bag and what goes in it. What never went in it: bottles (unless he was going to the babysitter’s, or grandparents’) or formula. If we were out longer than expected, we never ran out of milk. We could have a little bit of spontaneity in our day, even with a 2-month-old infant.

I know, I know. It’s so difficult to pump and leave the baby, wondering if you have enough milk. I couldn’t ever have fun when I left Gavin anywhere because I was always worried about whether I had left enough with the sitter or whoever happened to be watching him. But think about it. The child is a newborn. Newborns by design are not meant to be away from their mothers for very long. I didn’t want to be away from my newborn. Sure, a couple of hours at the salon for a pedicure or a massage is great. Or even an afternoon shopping. But we have to consider that our children were made like this for a reason. I don’t believe that our modern culture should change what biology (or God) has designed — not this part.

It was after Gavin turned 2 that I finally spent the night without him (and unbeknownst to him, I was actually in the next room, just in case). Perhaps that is a little longer than most mothers would wait to spend a night away from their children, but in the first year, I feel it’s important to be close, not just for breastfeeding purposes but because our children should feel our closeness while they still enjoy our closeness.

There are more reasons why I should feel all mothers should at least attempt breastfeeding. This is just one of those teeny, tiny ones that I thought of, that maybe hadn’t been discussed or was maybe glossed over in those overwhelming breastfeeding classes that you might have taken.

Must-have baby items

Every mother is going to have a different list of must-have items. This is because every mother is different and every baby is different. I’m going to make a list of the things that I found invaluable, and list the reasons why I found them so helpful.

As a sidenote, I don’t really believe in items like baby swings, jumperoos, stationary entertainment centers, and walkers. I won’t criticize another mother’s decision to use them, but I wouldn’t use them myself. The main reason is that they are a poor substitute for a mother’s arms. I believe that babies need to be touched and held, almost as much as they need to be fed and kept clean. Sick babies do much better when they have skin-to-skin contact with their mothers, or even another human being. Although in a busy household a swing or entertainment center might give a mother a few moments of reprieve, I would much rather place my child on the floor (with a blanket or rug underneath, of course). I think it is much safer and much more natural to place them on the floor.

That said, here is my list of essential baby items for any mother.

1. Medela breast pump. I’m going to assume that most mothers nowadays are going to at least attempt breastfeeding (and if they aren’t planning to and have no medical reason not to, they should educate themselves and give it a shot). My husband was at first skeptical about buying a $300 breast pump, but when compared to the price of formula, it was a no-brainer. I believe Ameda also has a really great pump for a cheaper price, but Medela is more readily available, and it worked well for me, pumping twice a day at work until my son was about 13 months.

The Medela Pump In Style works quickly; the parts are easy to clean; the assembly is fast and easy. The motor is relatively quiet but can be pretty powerful. I got mine in a thick briefcase-looking receptacle, but I understand the bags nowadays are more stylish.

2. Swaddle blankets. I’m not talking about regular receiving blankets. I’m talking about humungous swaddle blankets, or possibly the ones that have a Velcro closure (like this one, which was our personal choice).

Babies are not used to the open vastness of the outside world. They’d still rather be in the womb. As a result, when their limbs are flailing all over the place, they freak out. So a great swaddling blanket is key for those moments when he just won’t latch on the breast, or when he can’t catch a great sleep. My husband was a pro at using a regular flannel receiving blanket to get a really tight swaddle.

3. Good-quality baby wrap or other baby carrier. I’m sorry, but I don’t count the Baby Bjorn or the Snugli. Unless they have vastly changed, they aren’t good for anything over 15 lb or so, and they don’t distribute weight over the body well either — making them uncomfortable after about 5 minutes if your kid is heavy, and 6 minutes even when your kid is a peanut.

I’m talking about a stretchy wrap (such as the Moby wrap) or a mei tai (we love Babyhawk). The stretchy wrap is good to about 20-25 lb (just throw it in the washer and dryer to get it tighter), and the mei tai is good to at least 30 lb. (I know this because my son is currently 30 lb and still requests to be carried in the mei tai.) My son so loved being worn starting from about 5 weeks that he rarely ever sat in a stroller. We had the big travel system, but we rarely used the stroller portion of it — the car seat carrier was outgrown by about 5 months.

The other great thing about the mei tai, for example, is that it’s about the same cost as a Baby Bjorn (or even less) and is more versatile, easier to figure out how to use, and can be used for a lot longer (3 months for the Bjorn for us, vs. 33 months and counting for the mei tai) and can easily be rolled up and thrown in the diaper bag. Win-win!

4. Yoga bouncy ball thing. OK, so this was a total impulse-item that we added to the baby registry, but I won’t forget that my friend Landa bought it for me, and that it was awesome for getting our son to sleep. What my husband or I would do is strap the baby on in the wrap or mei tai, sit on the ball, and bounce gently. Most times our son would be out like a light in less than 10 minutes.

5. Back-up car seat. Now, if you live in the city and use public transit most of the time, you’d probably think twice about spending $200 for a car seat that you’d use once a month or less. But what if you only had to spend about $50?

We own a Britax Marathon for the car that our son rides in 90% of the time, but in my in-laws’ car and my husband’s car, we have Cosco Sceneras installed. This is a very good seat that is recommended by car seat technicians, and (vanity) they come in really cute colors and prints. You can buy them at Wal-Mart and Target.

Side note: It is safer for your child to be rear-facing to the rear-facing limit of the seat, which is 33 lb for the Britax Marathon and 35 lb for the Cosco Scenera. Check your own seat’s manual.

6. Portable playard / bassinet / changing table. We didn’t realize how invaluable this particular item was until the baby had come home. We had the Graco Pack ‘n’ Play pushed up against my side of the bed. Our particular model also had a changing table on one side of it. We used the bassinet until our son was about 3 months old (the weight limit on the bassinet is 15 lb, and he had reached that at that point).

The baby slept in the bassinet at night, and when he woke up to nurse, I just reached in and got him, latched him on, and when he was done, I’d just place him back in the bassinet — all without getting out of bed. When his diaper needed changing, it was only 2 steps away. When your child is pooping 3-4 times a night, this is a plus! Very convenient and easy!

7. The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. This book has everything you need to know about having a newborn. If it’s not in there, just call your pediatrician already. When we’d have a question in the middle of the night, we consulted Dr. Sears’ book. It also has a very good section about breastfeeding. I have to say, Dr. and Mrs. Sears’ parenting philosophy is very similar or at least very compatible with ours, so that’s why we chose this one over others.

8. Diaper Champ. I can’t speak to the other diaper pails, except I remember once babysitting for a parent who had a Diaper Genie and I truly couldn’t figure the thing out. We like the Diaper Champ for many reasons, the main one being you can use regular trash bags in there.If you change the bags often, the smell is minimized — and I sprinkled some baking soda (or spray some Lysol) to mitigate that as well.

When we switched over to cloth diapers, it transitioned very well for a nylon bag and cloth diapers. My only complaint is that when opening it, I sometimes break a nail. It’s got a weird latch thingie. That’s why you get other people to empty the diaper pail for you.

9. The Flip Video. We initially bought a camcorder that was just difficult to hook up to the computer and convert to digital. We received the original model of the Flip Video as a gift, and we couldn’t believe how awesome it was. There are literally about 4 buttons on it, and it records about 30 minutes of video. I have used it to record everything from first crawling steps to several minutes of swim classes. It attaches to the computer via USB (built right in) and you can transfer your videos very easily. Use YouTube or other video-sharing sites to let everyone know just how talented/cute/awesome your child is.

10. Awesome diaper bag. I don’t know about the rest of you, but for the first 6 months or so, I brought everything in the house in the diaper bag. What you need is a diaper bag that is big enough to carry ALL OF THAT. Now, I always brought a receiving blanket along — NEVER USED IT. Extra outfits, on the other hand — sometimes I never had enough. Now that our son is almost 3, I carry snacks (and still with the extra clothes).

I can’t really recommend a brand or style because I found different diaper bags and none of them were exactly what I needed. Some people like a messenger style; some people like backpacks. I never saw the need to pay $100 or upward for a designer bag, but that’s because I’m a utilitarian person for the most part and enjoy simple colors and lines. We had a Skip Hop Expo that was great for short trips; the one we used the longest is the GR8X satchel (transforms from backpack to messenger — LOVE IT for that), but now the messenger strap is all wonky and I need to replace it. It is also the one that I spent the most money on.

I’m sure there are other things out there that I forgot to mention, but forgive me, for new-mom amnesia was almost 3 years ago and I have forgotten much. I also really love the My Brest Friend pillow (so much better than the Boppy, and I did try both), but I know it’s a matter of body types and preferences. The same goes with nursing bras and baby bottles.

Feel free to drop me a comment on anything I missed or any dissenting opinions.